I could hardly stomach the idea of attending a college in my youth. The painting I had depicted in my head when I was an adolescence was the sound of wooden soled shoes echoing down an old corridor – while even older privileged professors in sweater vests scribble the ancient Mesopotamian reading assignment out on the blackboard. Evidently I was envisioning Harvard in 1898. But to me it was all too real, and the idea of attending such a boring and stale environment was too much to bare when I was in my preteens.  Even though the imagery in my head has since evolved from an ivory league school to more of a frat house vibe by the time I was in high school, my resilience was still the same; college is both terrifying and boring (not sure which is worse). What on earth will I do to avoid getting out of it? I was always under the impression that attending college was just something you had to do. That it was as difficult to get out of as the draft was in the sixties. Which is ironic, because one of the few ways to get out of the draft back then was to be attending college.

     So needless to say, by the time I had graduated high school, I was ready and willing to do anything other than college. I’ve heard rumors that folks had not only survived without a college diploma, but some have actually become successful. So why not me? After several years of bouncing around in the work force, I found myself working in the automobile sales industry. And actually making good money for someone my age. It all culminated when I landed the best job to date. The highest paying job I’d had to date. Everything was on the up. Until one morning while at work, there were a few business men at the car dealership. They seemed nice. Too nice. Far too rehearsed. They were wearing suits that cost more than the house I’m going to die in. I was just introduced to the proud new owners of the dealership. And they were here to do one thing: trim the fat. And evidently my paycheck, among others, was in need of trimming. And just like that, I was out. After accompanying so many clients on test drives, I’ve never found myself at such a cross road.

     This was where I had to wrestle with a tough question. Tough questions always trump easy answers. Do I just simply make an addition to my resume and look for yet another job working on commission? One where I’ll have to work over 50 hours a week (including weekends) and in the end get handed handed a pink slip simply because I’m expendable. Or instead do I finally make the choice in attending a college where my mind will become my greatest asset? My mind wasn’t worth anything because it hadn’t been molded by an education. Either way, I know that I’ll be dedicating over 50 hours a week out of my life. The question becomes would I rather put forth the same time by working a little less obsessively and take a few classes per semester to actually have it amount to something not just 10, 15, 20 years down the line, but for the rest of my life. Ones thing’s for sure, I’ve trekked very far down just one path.

     In the days after I had parted ways with my now former employer, my girlfriend and I had several talks about where I wanted to take my life now that there’s an open door in front of me. She would always steer the conversation towards, “Why not work in a job that you love?” Which would inevitably invite the next sentiment of “Go to college for that. You’ll do fine.” Whenever this routine conversation arose, I was always one to brush it off. Without giving a sound reason or a solid argument as to why not.

     Was I afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Truth be told, I wasn’t simply dodging the question. I simply didn’t know myself. But what I didn’t know wasn’t going to hurt or hinder me. By attempting college, at the very least, I would find out what I was so afraid of. Who knows, maybe I actually was afraid of success. Afraid of landing a steady job with competitive pay. One where I’ll become that old, privileged professor in a sweater vest and wooden soled shoes writing jargon on a black board. Seems terrifying, right?

     In order to find out just how daunting college was, I had to first take the staggering first steps into enrolling. Seeing as how I was not born sliding into home plate with a silver spoon in my mouth, a community college was my first choice – being the most accessible and affordable. I had been told many times before that most people are college material, it’s just the preparation that overwhelms an inbound freshman. But unlike when I was a knee high 1st grader, I found prepping for school and back to school shopping to be exciting rather than grim. Trips to office supply stores for binders, notebooks, highlighters in every primary color – all of this a $20 investment towards the rest of my life.

     Picking my classes seemed as though I was taking a tremendous leap into a far more mature world. “Business Administration Transfer.” What a title. Seemed so much more refined than uttering “Oh, I’m a Junior in high school and I’m failing gym.” It’s something more. Melding both sophistication and pizzazz. And I know what it’s like to hype up a title. My official position at my previous job was “Client Adviser,” which was simply verbal glitter thrown on top of “Car Salesman.”

   Now my classes are picked. With a start date established and a preliminary alarm clock set on my cell phone, college has now become a reality. And through the journey of self discovery and preparation for college, I’ve stumbled upon the value of education. Because I know how far I was going to get without one. The fear of living out my life when its already peaked when I’m in my mid-twenties was motivation enough to yearn for more. I suppose that’s why they say “give it old college try.”